Never be roomates with friends

Ok, so i stay with this girl (lets call her Mary) with whom we used to be best friends before moving in together, but not anymore. Let me explain why. First of all Mary has a severe OCD condition (which i didnt know about before we move in together by the way) which makes her wanna put things around the house in specific numbers. What i mean: She likes having 3,5 or 7 candles on the living room table, not 2 or 4.etc And this happens with everything we have. In our main living room wall there are 7 frames, in the kitchen there are 3 plates per plate hanger, in the bathroom counter there are 9 decorative things etc. Also (thats the highlight) we have 2 parallel walls that have one heat radiator each (that happens to line up) so she puts 3 things on each heat radiator, that has to be IN LINE with the other things in the other radiator. When she first told me she has this “mild” condition, i said “its ok” because i really thought it was fucking MILD. Now whenever i try to move something around the house for whatever reason (even if this thing is mine), se keeps putting it back in its old place, without even caring to hear why i moved it. Its like i dont even have a word on the house decoration.
Second, every day after college when she comes back home (im usually home, because she has morning classes and i have evening classes) at the moment she steps in the house, she puts on music in the highest volume, even if im studying, or i want some peace and not hardcore trap shouting through my ears. When i tell her to lower the volume, she does for like half an hour and then back up at the highest possible. 
Third, she expects me to be like a sister for her and to do everything she wants without getting anything back. And i seriously mean anything. i know  this is kinda of a rule in life “do whatever and dont expect anything back”, but im talking about friends who are together 5 fucking years. I do expect some kindness and equality at least. For example, im a smoker and i buy cigarettes every 2-3 days(Not:i dont work) always cry that she doesnt have money (when actually she works all summer and part-time in winter) and she demands to smoke from my cigarettes all the time. Seriously i didnt care at first but we reached to a point where i bought cigarettes for me and she was smoking them all. When i finally fed up with this and told her, this was her responce, a responce from a “best” friend: You shouldnt expect to get anything back, for what u do”Seriously bitch? i clean after your dog’s shit, I even clean up after you when you leave everything dirty in the kitchen or wherever, you smoke both from my cigarettes and my weed whenever you want without me saying anything and thats the “thank you” for everything i do for you?
Fourth, she is a non-stop talker. I end up feeling like her psychologist. She tells me about every single minor detail in her day, every day and whenever i try to talk to her about my day, she interrupts me and keeps talking about her shit.
Fifth, she takes whatever food i have in the fridge and eats it without asking first. Again, at first i didnt care because we are friends and im ok with her taking my things every once in a while but i see that i only give and give and give whatever she asks for, and she never gives me anything. I have the politeness to ask but she is always short on everything (“i dont have money even though i work all year long. Im a fucking cry-baby”). Aso she takes my painting utilities (brushes, and colors) even though she has plenty, and paints every fucking shit she has. She paints her stuff with my colors and brushes even though she has more than me. She takes my laptop without asking, and she has a brand new desktop. Everytime we go out with friends she always “claims” she doesnt have any money (like always) and out of politeness,i buy her drink.She has never bought anything for me ever, even when i dont have any money. The problem is that every time i try to talk to her about all these things, she pretends she doesnt understand and she Claims that she is a exampler of roomate and friend. I seriously start to believe she is stupid aside from fucking ungrateful, selfish bitch. I consider of moving out,. For  real

I live with two Chinese women who are in their mid to late thirties, and so far it’s been the worst living arrangement I’ve ever had in my life. At first I made a lot of effort to ignore the comments they would make, thinking okay, yeah…they don’t eat this/do this in China, that’s cool…I’m learning. But then it got down to personal attacks and we need to make sure you’re not going to make a mistake like “hi, yes, I forgot to do something and I apologized and rectified the situation, it’s not a problem.” Then it turned into pushing because we tried to resolve conflict and that just made them angrier at me. Then we tried to resolve more conflict because I wasn’t okay with them being that angry at me and now it’s turned into a complete breakdown. It is horrible and all I can say is I’m so fucking thankful they’re both leaving come late June, early July (I wish it was sooner/wish I took up that offer to move out). 

Sometimes you hit the jackpot with flatmates, and other times you end up with people who begin to make life incredibly difficult. My lucky streak ran out :(

This is how karma repays me

A girl I used to work with, let’s call her Mary, broke up with her abusive boyfriend/baby daddy in January. She came to stay with me (a girl) and my roommate (a guy, let’s call him Jack). All of us are young, none over 25 years old, so of course we get a bit rowdy occasionally. All that being said, we got along. Then her “brother” who is really just a family friend, who I’m going to refer to as Allen, got kicked out of his parents house and moved in with us. This makes it 4 people in a 2 bedroom apartment. Allen’s 17, I’m 18, Jack and Mary are 25. Only Jack and I have jobs. He works for nearly minimum wage, whereas I’m pulling in over $3000 a month. We know Mary doesn’t have enough money, so we try to help her, especially once she decides to pursue gaining custody of her and her baby daddy’s 1.5 year old little boy. GREAT, right?

Jack crumbles under the pressure of supporting 2 other people aside from himself and starts drinking and smoking weed in excess. Mary freaks out. I’m covering rent, utilities, and necessities for myself and 2 other people at this point. Mary and I decide to go find somewhere else to live so that she doesn’t have to risk losing her kid because of Jack’s behavior. Allen comes with us, of course.

We find a nice 2 bedroom that I can afford (since no one else will be contributing at all to the rent). We move in at the start of March. By the beginning of May, Mary has kicked Allen out for some arbitrary and ridiculous reason. Que me, the only provider. Mary makes a big deal about how much money she has to borrow from me and she wishes she could pay me back, blah, blah, blah. I ask her to just clean up after her son and try to make sure that the regular household chores are done. Guess what doesn’t happen. I start getting fed up with doing everything for someone who’s home all day, doesn’t work, doesn’t even have her son more than 4 days out of the week. Try to talk to her about it and she explodes in my face saying “you promised to help me, what will I do on my own, you’re a liar, how dare you give me hope and then take it away.” BITCH, I’ve busted my ass for 5 months to take care of you and your kid because you’re too much of a drunk drug-addicted loser to take care of yourself. So she’s going to be gone by the end of May (thank you, jesus), and in the meantime, she’s been staying at a neighbor’s. Every day, she comes in the apartment while I’m at work and turns every light on and the heat up to 90 degrees F. 

This is what I get for trying to help a person in need, huh?

Don’t Worry, I’M the Immature One

Where to even begin?

I met my current (soon to be ex!) roommate through a craigslist ad. She responded relatively quickly via email and gave me her phone number so I could set up a time to come see the room. After that she claimed to not receive any of my texts, and I knew she was trying to brush me off. At this point I had already been searching for a roommate for a couple of weeks and due to a bad situation at home, I was desperate to find somewhere to move as quickly as possible. So I kept sending texts and playing her game of getting emails fine (sent from her phone), but not responding to my text messages.

Eventually she claimed she had “received” my text message and was glad we were finally able to connect. That same night she pressured me into the viewing the room within the hour because she wouldn’t have time to show it again over the weekend. I showed up, the room was cluttered with her crap, which she said she would remove prior to my moving in. She quickly rambled off some numbers for the bills and informed me she had more showings during the weekend…the weekend she didn’t have time to show me the place. Those people were obviously smarter and less desperate than I was, because she contacted the following week asking to meet to go over the living arrangement. There she mentioned possibly getting a cleaning lady and installing a security system, which I said I would be open to (remember that at this point I have barely seen the place and only said I would be open to it, not that I agreed these things were necessary). We agreed I would move in over a weekend that she wouldn’t be there so that my cat had time to get adjusted before her dog was brought into the mix.

When I went over to the place to pick up my key and drop off my first rent check (I at NO POINT was shown a lease, even after asking) she mentioned that the screen door does lock and that she would make me a copy of the key to it. At NO POINT have I ever received that key, even after asking multiple times, and even after being locked out because she knowingly locked the screen door.

And then the move in day. When I arrived, my room was not cleaned out, there was a boxspring, bedframe, and random items in the closet, as well as the other sense of not clean, as in the room was dirty. Along with that, she did not clear out any space for me in the bathroom, linen closet, kitchen, or coat closet, and stacked all her items in the basement directly in front of the stairs so I had to move all her things just to get enough clearance to store my own items down there.

The first week I was moved in she invited her Mother to stay over multiple nights and gave me maybe 4 hours notice. She also decided we were dog sitting for her friend and that “the guy she is seeing” was just going to sleep over multiple nights the following week. I never received more than 6 hours notice for any of this and said guy came back drunk and loudly talked in front of my bedroom door while turning on every light he could find at 3 AM (two nights out of three). Along with this, she left rotting food sitting in the fridge and couldn’t even be bothered to remove her own hair from the drain.

I confronted her about all of this and didn’t even receive an apology. Instead I began to receive a steady slew of insulting text messages that attacked me and my age (I am 24) calling me immature for refusing to pay for a cleaning lady when I already cleaned the entire place (minus her room) every other week. And I mean clean, scrubbing the toilet, spraying down the shower, vacuuming up all her dog’s fur.

Around this time I discovered that she had been digging around in my drawers in the bathroom and had even taken a replacement razor head out of one. She, of course, denied doing so. But I know she didn’t have her own razor heads because I had to consolidate all her things to make room for my own toiletries and the razor heads in question were rebranded early last year (I only have mine because I bought them in bulk almost a year ago). My response was to install a lock on my bedroom door, which I lock religiously, even when I am only going to the bathroom.

Then came the utility bills. She sent me a text, it’s so ironic that at this point she ONLY communicated via text message, stating the amount I needed to pay and that she could email me the bills. I immediately jumped on this offer, because I was going to ask to see the bills anyways. It’s worth noting that she started hounding me for money before the month was even over, so I should be paying 1/4 of the bills as I was only at the place for two weeks. Fast forward a week, I have not received any sort of semblance of a copy of the bills (after asking multiple times) and she is now telling me that things aren’t going to work if I make everything such a confrontation and refuse to pay my half. To this day I STILL have not seen the bills and now know she was overcharging me for my “half” of the rent.

At this point I informed her I was moving out by then end of the following month (yes, all of this took place in one month). I also informed the landlords of how she treated me and how she was treating their property. I removed my cat from the building (he is currently with my parents) and began searching for a new place to live. I also removed most of my items from the common areas (TV, TV stand, dishes, bowls, bath mat, etc.). Two days after I responded to an email from the landlords, to which the roommate was CC’d, informing them that I had secured a new living arrangement and would certainly be out by the end of the month, she sent an especially bitchy batch of texts telling me I had to leave within 10 days, the landlords don’t need to be contacted because they don’t want to deal with me, and that I never paid my half of the bills (at this point my check had been sitting on the table for over a week, and she just decided to not cash it).

Now she is beginning to make up lies about things she has done and claims I did and has threatened to involve the police if I “mess with her things,” never mind we both know she already went through my things.

I screen capped the most recent text exchanges and sent them to the landlords and will be moved out by the end of this week. I am insisting on being reimbursed for the half of the month I won’t be living there as there is no real reason I am leaving other than I cannot take being treated so poorly by an entitled, rude, sack of shit that lacks even the slightest shred of human decency.

Washers and Dryers

The Beginning:

My best friend went to study abroad, and my boyfriend and I of almost two years had split over the summer. So needless to say, all my apartment living plans had fallen through.

I live in an expensive apartment building owned by the university; the only reason why I live in it is because of a scholarship. Since I’m in a two bedroom unit, I would be receiving a new roommate before the beginning of the semester.

It is my senior year; I’m too busy, tired, and fed up dealing with garbage and attitude from roommates.

Enter the Bitch:

After hoping that I would not receive a roommate, I checked the housing website and found that I would be living with someone whose mailing address is within less than ten miles from the university.
I was taken aback. Why on earth would someone who lives in the area pay out this much for an apartment when they could live at home for virtually nothing?

I arrived a week before classes began and had already set up most of our fully-furnished apartment. I’m a rather shy person around new people and tend to keep to myself, encourage a quiet lifestyle and usually don’t make too much of a fuss. I also tend to have a very mild case of OCD that shows up mostly when I live with strangers. Because of this, I tend to like things cleaner than normal; I don’t do it just for me, I do it for a better, cleaner, healthier living environment for both of us.

She came with all her things the day before classes began. I felt awkward because her family was moving things in and I was too shy to make my presence known until after they left. Once her family went home, I greeted her and we just had some boring small talk.

I then came to know her as a Dance Team member that recently transferred from another university as a sophomore. All of her friends either lived in our building or near the building, her sister having her own apartment a few  blocks away. We are completely opposite. I’m a nerd through and through. I’m not psyched about exercising, going to the gym, or eating like a bird. I then came to know that we don’t even remotely enjoy the same food (which to some people is prime). Again, we have absolutely zero in common.

She commented in admiration of how clean and tidy I have kept the apartment. Of course I then explained to her that I am kind of shy, I love peace and quiet, and I enjoy when things are sparkling clean and fresh.She seemed to understand that much. She explained that she loves quiet and cleanliness too, but she’s a people-person. I knew that the moment she opened her mouth.
 The first night (Sunday), things went smoothly.

The Partier:

For clarity, I have a full load of upper level courses and I work over 20 hours a weekly.

It was Monday night, the first day of classes for the semester. Since I work until 7pm every Monday, and then I go to extra curricular activities until 10pm, and I had classes back to back starting at 9am, I am bound to be tired.

I walk through the door and the kitchen/living room is full of her friends, at least six people including her. They had paper and craft supplies over every surface imaginable. They were obnoxiously loud.

I made my dinner and hid in my room. The last friend didn’t leave till almost midnight. As a light sleeper, I of course couldn’t sleep until after the last friend walked out the door as voices carry easily and the walls in the apartment are paper-thin.

The kitchen was left in a mess. I ended up cleaning it the next day.

I dismissed it because it was the first day, she’s a socialite, whatever.

However she continued this process for a few weeks to follow. After bringing it to her attention, I received a prompt, “I can have friends over whenever I want.”

The Glaring Girl:

After an array of leaving dishes on the counter for a week and spilling soup into, and I mean into, the stove and refusing to wipe it out, I became her housekeeper.

Every Saturday/Sunday I would clean out the kitchen. Sweep the floors, wiped out the microwave splattered with her spaghetti, Swiffer wash the floors…
Since the dishes were left out so long, I would take it upon myself to either put them in the dishwasher, or wash them by hand with my own items. I deemed that act as “good faith” and hoped she would get the hint or try to do something nice for me.

Yeah, I would be terribly wrong. Nothing changed.

I had a newer friend of mine over for some dinner and some video games. The moment my roommate came into the apartment, she glared at us both, then went into her room. It was 7pm. I always, out of consideration of others, have my friends leave by 10pm. I have a “do unto others” sort of motto.

Since then, she refused to even say “Hi” to me. I would greet her and I would get a quiet, or tensioned response. This happened for weeks to the point where I gave up even trying to elicit a response from her. She would always glare at me, or stomp around the apartment, slamming cupboard doors. She would act the same around my own friends and ignore them.

In turn, I always made sure I greeted her friends. They eventually began glaring at me too.

The First Dryer Incident:

Over time, we developed a power struggle over the washer and dryer in our unit. We had a moment where she had items in the washer and I needed to wash my clothes.

I nicely moved them (fleece blanket and some sweatshirts) into the dryer, added one of my own dryer sheets and let it go while I washed my clothes. The dryer stopped, they were not completely dry yet, so I ran another short cycle. Once they were dry, I folded them nicely and set them on top of the dryer.

The situation reversed where she needed to use the dryer. However, my items in the dryer were still very wet (towels), and so she decided to take them out, fold them  wet and leave them on the dryer. I was appalled that she could not simply run the dryer once more as she was in no particular hurry. Where is the logic in folding wet towels? Why couldn’t she do the same for me?

When I noticed how wet my towels were and that she didn’t even bother to return the favor I did her, I made sure her clothes in the dryer were completely dry, took them out, threw them in a heap on top of the dryer and put my towels back in.

The Final Dryer Incident - That Bitch Has Claws…But No Legitimate Excuses:

We’re back to the washer and dryer, folks.

My roommate had been hogging the washer and dryer most of the previous week, so I decided to wait. I became busy do to my work and class schedule and did not have the time to do it right away.

I picked a day in which I spent most of my evening cleaning up after her and doing my laundry. Well, since I had so much laundry backed up, I couldn’t finish it all in time for me to go to bed. I decided that since she had done a ton of laundry last week, that I would be safe to continue mine the next day.

I arrived back from class and prepared my whites to go into the washer. It was full of her clothes. A bit annoyed that she’d pick right then to do her laundry I wandered back to my room. However, I changed my mind and went back. I removed her clothes from the washer and put them in her basket sitting on top the dryer.

I changed my mind again, thinking, “Well if she did that to me, I would be annoyed…and maybe pissed off…” so I put her clothes in the dryer as any nice, logically thinking person would.

She came busting out of her room and opened up the dryer stating, “I don’t want all that to go in the dryer…”

Naturally I felt awkward and it was the first time she’d said anything to be besides “Could I please get into he silverware drawer?” because I was preparing food in front of it.

I replied, “Sorry, I didn’t know…”

She got irritated and told me how annoying it was that I needed to do laundry just then. I explained to her that I had not had the chance to finish my laundry the night before and that after the previous week, frankly it was my turn.

She flustered for a while and then asked, “Why can’t you just wait?”

I replied as I headed back to my room, “I can’t wait all day…” My reasoning? She’s notorious for taking extended periods of time to do things. For example, emptying the dishwasher. The average person emptying at a slow pace would take no more than five minutes; it takes her over an hour.

She raised her voice even more so and shouted, “BUT I’M RIGHT HERE!” As in, she is in the apartment, not elsewhere.

I replied, “Why are you shouting…?”

Still crouched by the dryer, digging through what she wanted in and what she wanted out, steaming out the ears, she yelled again, “Why are you doing this?! You’re being rude!”

I replied by just shrugging and stated, “Sorry, but it’s still my turn…I seriously have no clothes. I really need to finish washing my stuff.”

She then spouted off some random, unrelated things, and then I explained to her all what I do for the apartment and her. She just nodded along sarcastically like she didn’t believe me. I mentioned the sorry state of the microwave and she chimed in saying, “I wiped it out today!”

All I could say to that was, “Well that’s nice…” I went into my room to let her stew in front of the dryer. Funny thing is….she hadn’t wiped out anything all year. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I wait two days after she has done laundry, just to be sure she is completely done.

The Lesson:

I was wrong to believe that my roommate could think of others before herself.

I was wrong to believe that my roommate would say “no problem” or “you’re welcome” after I sincerely thanked her for taking out the garbage. I know she heard; she completely ignored me.

I was wrong to believe that my roommate would realize that I need eating utensils too; she hoarded them in her room.

I was wrong to believe that my roommate would recognize all the things I do for her on a daily basis.

I take time out of my schedule to do these nice things and I get nothing but sass and glares in return.

Overall, I hate living with snobby, rich girl, self-absorbed strangers. I’m just done. The three years I spent living in the dorms were never this bad or frustrating.

One thing I’m glad about? At least she doesn’t have a boyfriend.

sirchacha said: I'm kind of tumblr stupid, how do you post?

There should be a button thing at the top that says “Submit your story!" <— or also click this!

Hope that works! And you’re not stupid for asking :)

The Stingiest Bitch in the West

My roommate and I have gotten along really well all year long.  Why?  Because I am a very chill person.  When she would ask me for the 72 cents I owed her, Ide give her a dollar; not trying to be generous, just trying to be a sane human being.  When she hinted that she needed a ride to work, Ide be the better person and offer her one (since she doesn’t have a car).  Keep in mind I drive a Toyota 4runner, which doesn’t go easy on gasoline.        Occasionally I would ask for small things in return, such as a bag of mm’s from the cafeteria that costs half a meal swipe, which her parents pay for, but never anything more.   I can remember several times when she would ‘forget her wallet’ when we went out to eat and I would tell her “No worries, I got it.”  She didn’t have a job, but neither did I.  We were both struggling college students and I wanted to be nice.  Recently, she asked to buy my old ipod touch for 50$.  I was sad to sell it for so little since I had kept it in mint condition, but she was my roommate and roommates always do nice things for each other.  I wiped all my personal data off of it and gave it to her.  She said she would pay me as soon as she had the money.  After two months she had gotten 3 jobs and worked constantly, yet she still didn’t have any bills so I figured she saved her money like a sensible person.  Yet she still didn’t pay me for my ipod she had been using for 2 months.  When I finally confronted her about it, she said she would pay me as soon as possible, and the next time I came in the room it was on my desk with a note saying “I decided I don’t want this anymore, you can have it.”  This bugged me, but I let it slide.  Yet the icing on the cake that made me write this post happened this past week.  We both dance together in a company that meets once a week at a location 30 minutes away from our dorm.  I usually drive her since I usually am at the dorm and its no hassle at all, but this week I was at my parents house which is directly next to the dance studio.  I texted her hours in advance and asked if she could find a ride elsewhere because it would be a lot of driving to come get her.  She replied saying she really needed a ride and she would give me money for gas.  Sounding reasonable, I made the drive back, leaving my family dinner early, and picked her up.  Amazingly when we got there she realized she didn’t have her wallet and asked if she could just buy me lunch sometime during the week. I said that was fine and we would work it out.  The next day I told her that food wasn’t an issue to me, but considering it costs 70$ to fill up my gas tank I would appreciate if she could give me around 10 for gas.  She blew up and stormed out of the room and I haven’t seen her since.  When I got back today there was a note on my desk, in which she tried to calculate the exact money it would be for the trip to the studio and subtracted things such as “cost of the mm’s” and made a remark about how generous she is being by giving me any money at all.  She calculated the final amount to be $4.44, which she left in crumpled up dollar bills, nickels, and pennies.  Now I have the joys of confronting her face to face about this and getting to deal with this nutcase.  

Stingiest psycho bitch on the face of the earth.  


This is so accurate it’s terrifying.

Depressive Drama Queen

I live with 2 other girls in my apartment. I say my apartment because I’ve lived here a year longer than everyone and my name is the only one on the lease. The two girls have really just moved in, both in early January.  The one girl is a fabulous international student with realistic and lax standards who I`ll call Betty. The other is an old friend from my hometown.  We were close when we were young but drifted as we entered highschool.  We began talking again last year and I knew she needed a place to stay so we made arrangements for her to move in. Let’s call her M.

It`s been 75 days and I regret it so much.

She`s not bad , she`s just wearing and really, really dumb. I had to explain what an audiobook is to her. 

I knew she had problems, but also took her social media at face value. Her little “Everything is fine! Life is the best” bullshit statuses she posted before she moved had me more or less convinced that she at least had some sort of grasp on her mental health. I’m sorry to sound so jaded. I know I’m being tough, but I’ve dealt with depression for almost a decade now. I know it’s hard, but I also know that there are ways to deal and cope with it. And I’ve always known of her tendency to blow everything out of proportion.

Anyway, this chick is so unable to function without her mom. She can’t cook, she doesn’t understand basic concepts (like doing dishes, sweeping, wearing pants, turning off the fucking heat, the definition of the word ironic, sploof) and keeps complaining about how OCD she is.  

She really isn’t.

She smokes so much weed too, which I thought she didn’t because of a bullshit status.

She’s walked into the wrong apartment suite TWICE because she was so high and forgot to climb the extra flight of stairs to our floor. 

I’ve invited her out, one time she kept making jokes about me and the other time she started wailing and sobbing (completely sober at a concert, in front of my boyfriend’s sister and husband) and went home early and smoked most of my weed.

She said she came home and started screaming and punching things, but said she had no trigger. We went there and she was fine and happy and then wasn`t. It felt odd to me, because I`ll know roughly what the trigger was.

The other time Betty and I had a party and she just glared at everyone and stormed off and slammed the door to her room. And trapped my cat in her room. 

She always talks about how she`s putting on a brave face and she keeps so much in (I`ve heard her say this to, including Betty and I, seven people. The only seven people I’ve ever seen her interact with) but her entire facebook/tumblr/instagram is a complete journal of her hard hard life. We’ve had similar experiences but whenever I try to reach out, she says I wouldn’t understand. 

She acts like she does me these huuuuge favors, like brushing my cat and gets pouty when I’m not extremely grateful. Brushing my cat is great, I don’t know why she acts like it’s a choir, i never asked her too, 

Because she never cooks, her food went bad so I chucked it. I told her that her food went really nasty and she responds with “Oh.. that’s ok..” as if I had done something bad to her. 

She dropped out of first year cosmetics (she started in January) because she was too stressed. She`d go to class, come home, get high and order a pizza. She can`t even be bothered to do little things like take out trash, do her own dishes or even recycle her stupid pizza box. I`m in my final year and working 15-20 hours a week and I still do more than her. I told her to stop smoking inside because she doesn`t seem to understand the idea of a sploof, opening a window or blocking her door. Plus if you don`t have a job or school, you can go outside. But she continues to in her room, which is right beside mine and reeks.

So yeah. She’s not nearly the worst person I’ve ever lived with but she’s the one that’s annoyed me the most. 

I’m sorry, it probably feels like a rant about nothing. She’s just one of those people that annoys me on a very fundamental level. She lacks any common courteous or sense for that matter and I just needed to let it out.

If anyone has any advice, I’d love it. 

Huge Hypocrite Hell

So I’m just gonna start off how it all began. I had this amazing house once, I shared it with my landlord. A cool guy. We were both pretty introvert and rather be just by ourselves. Sometimes we talked, but most of the time we both were in our own rooms, just doing our own thing. Sadly he passed away, and his family made me move. While I was sad, I was also kinda excited, because I was gonna get my own place and I could pick my own roommate. It even had a yard and a huge living room. The last tenants left it in a horrible state, but with 3 days worth of cleaning and even more days of decorating it turned into a lovely place. So when the house was all ready for people to live and sleep in it, I picked a roommate. She seemed nice in the beginning. A quiet girl that liked to read in her room. I thought I picked the perfect roommate, but hoo boy was I wrong.

The turning point:

The first signs that my roommate wasn’t all stars and sunshine came when I made the cleaning roster. I wrote down what needed to be done by who for each week. However my roommate only did the things that the roster said. While I clean up when I spill on the lid of the trashcan, the table, the stove or anywhere else, she didn’t. She just left it there to turn into a stain that was almost impossible to remove. She also didn’t clean the toilet after she did a number 2 which I find terribly gross, we have a toilet brush, use it. If she grabbed something/moved something she never put it back were it belonged, but I ignored it, because well she was a sweet girl and 2 years younger then me. Until I found passive aggressive notes on the roster about how I needed to dust of the door handles. Of course I was annoyed, but I hate conflict so I just sucked up my anger. 

The freezer incident

Because I do grocery’s for a whole week, I have this little freezer. At first it was in my room. But it kept overloading the electricity network that way. I told my roommate that I would put it in the living room if it would stop overloading there. And indeed, it kept on working in the living room, so I bought a nice table for it to stand on and put it all the way in the corner, so it wouldn’t be a bother for anyone. One day I come home, and my normally sunshine roommate comes up to be all angry. ”You had to ask me first to put that there” pointing towards my freezer. ”I told you that if it would work in the living room, I would put it there.” was my answer. ”No you didn’t, you only said you were testing it over there” She came off really hostile, and me with my lack of people skills totally shut down. Only nodding in agreement, even though it really bothered me that she got angry with me for nothing.

The second incident

It was quiet for a few months. I was still annoyed with her lack of cleaning, but seeing her so angry before I just kept quiet. However since the incident I didn’t feel comfortable in my own house anymore. I get really afraid if people scold me, and if don’t apologize afterwards I stay that way. I spend a lot of time in my own room instead of how it was before she moved in. I used to enjoy taking naps on my couch in the living  room, open the curtains and greet the sun. Now she was hogging the living room and I was to scared of conflict to come in. However the next incident was bound to happen, with me boiling with stress. When I opened my freezer I saw something that didn’t belong there, food of hers. Even though she knows the freezer is mine alone, and not shared. So I waited for her to return and politely asked what it was doing in my freezer. ”Oh yeah, you didn’t come home for a week, so I thought with it being almost empty and all, that it was okay. And I couldn’t ask.” I told her that she has my number, and that I would have appreciated a text message first. She agreed but I could feel that she didn’t mean it, because her whole body language was passive aggressive. For maybe an hour the house was quiet. Right before she was about to leave towards her classes and her parents house she drops a bomb on me. ”You never follow our cleaning roster, I have to do everything by myself!” Excuse me, I clean up after your butt, I thought. Instead of that what I thought I said ”Well I can’t clean if I am not home, can I?” with a smile on my face. She just scoffed and said ”Well you also didn’t do it once, because you felt sick.” I thought it was weird for her to bring that up as that was months and months ago, a one time incident, and also because when I feel sick, I really am sick. I have fybromyalgia and sometimes I can hardly get out of bed. She knows this, so I thought that comment was rude. But before I got a chance to react to her, about how she shouldn’t bring up months old things, and how she never does the dishes and always forgets to take out the trash if it is her turn, she suddenly said ”But now I have to go to college, and right after I am going to my parents for the weekend. Bye!” And there she went, I never got the chance to react.

Now when I am writing this I am at my parents house. Today I will take my leave again towards that dreadful house. I really love the city that I live in, I made friends there. But every week I don’t wanna go ”home”, because home doesn’t feel like home. I wish I never picked her, because my home is now just a house.

To Complain, or Not to Complain? It’s not a question because she does it all of the time.

The Rosy Beginning
Rory and I were freshman year roommates. We thought the we could not have found a better match. We both had so much in common. We liked going out together, we would share stories and be silly and giggle together. The only big issue is that she wasn’t a morning person, so she wasn’t up for talking when we woke up. Whatever, that was fine. We were totally cool. It was a good year, so we decided to live together the following year with two other friends of ours in a rental house. Yippy!

Welcome to Year Two! The Passive Aggressive Hell-Scape.
When the ball dropped on new years 2014 it should have come with a little note that said “Congratulations, your roommate is going to 180 and turn into a crazy, passive aggressive bitch!”. No, alas, I was given no warning. January came out of nowhere.
Last year she was gone for January, our J-term, the time to take a class for a month or go home to see family. She went home, and I stayed. We went on our merry ways and all was well.
Not this year. She said that every January is a bad month for her. She gets depressed and can’t deal with anything. That was totally fine with me. I understand depression, like many others I have gone through it as well. It sucks, but you’ve got to kick yourself in the butt at some point and go get some help if you want to get better, you know?
I dealt with the passive aggressive comments, the hiding in her room, the tears, the tough days because that’s what a good friend does. You help out when it’s needed, but eventually the help of a friend isn’t enough.

Fast forward to March: Welcome to the land of “Nothing Has Changed!”
The problem here is that she won’t try to get better. She won’t take her meds and she won’t see a therapist/psychologist/what have you. Due to this she just mopes around the house, waits around for her boyfriend all week and doesn’t do anything when she can’t see him. She micromanages our cleaning. If a plate is left out for more than a few hours she’ll bitch and tell me and my other roommates how terribly messy everything looks. We get weekly passive-aggressive notes from her over social media about the dishes, the dishwasher, the stove, those shoes that are STILL by the door that should really be in your room, those books on the table because God FORBID you try to do homework and leave a book on a chair when you’re done. She’s just plain rude.
Being sad is fine, but don’t stomp all over my day just because you’re not feeling awesome. That’s not cool.

Icy Glares and Silent Stares
On top of this, she won’t talk. Yes, that’s right. She literally won’t talk when she’s in a bad mood - which is daily. She will look at you when you speak (maybe) and then blatantly ignore you. In the morning if she hears you coming down the stairs, she’ll hurry to run out the door before you get there so she doesn’t have to say good morning. If she does say something you can bet your bottom dollar that it’s to order you to clean everything in sight, or to complain.

To Complain, or Not to Complain? It’s not a question because she does it all of the time.
I realize the irony in that I am complaining about her all of the time, but mind you, this is silent rage that has been building for months.

Whenever she does decide to open her mouth, it’s to complain. Here’s the top list:

  1. Yeah, I just have SO much homework. I’m taking all of the top level courses so it’s really hard and I have homework to do all off the time. It’s more than yours, which is expected because my courses are harder than yours right now. (No. They’re not. No. She does not have more homework than me or anyone in the house. She just drags it out and complains the whole damn time)
  2. I haven’t seen John (boyfriend) in like, all day, ugh, it sucks. (She sees him every day. Seriously. Every day. If it’s more than that, we’ll hear about it)
  3. *Every day - if she’s talking* Ugh, I’ve just had a really shitty day… (insert sob story here) (She seriously NEVER has anything positive to say. Ever. Not ever never.)
  4. You guys, it is SO messy in the house right now. I clean all of the time and I have asked you guys to, but nothing has changed. (We clean every few days. We’ve been told by friends that we have one of the cleanest houses they’ve seen. We ALL clean. We have different definitions of messy. Messy is not having a few pairs of boots by the door and textbooks near the table.)

"Uhm, yeah, I’m over drinking… don’t you remember that I don’t drink."Fine by me! That is totally cool. If you don’t want alcohol in your life, I am totally supportive. That is wonderful if that is what makes you happy, but do not judge me for my personal decisions, and those of my roommates.
I drink sparingly, maybe I’ll have two outings a month, but each time we go out she reminds us why she doesn’t drink - mostly she doesn’t like partying - but she will regale us with shitty stories about those few times she drank freshman year and how those times were so shitty which is why she will never drink again.
Then she won’t allow us to have alcohol out in the house. Her boyfriend is in the army and he is under contract not to drink. He’s a cool dude and he sticks by that, but he also has said that he doesn’t mind us drinking in the house when he’s around. If we’re discreet he’s totally cool with it.
She isn’t.
She won’t tell us when he’s coming over and then will freak out when we have a glass of wine around him on the weekends. Seriously? I’m all about being accommodating, but I can’t plan my weekend tiptoeing around my own house when all three of us but her drink.
She gives eyerolls and judging stares when we have another beer, and she can’t help but to remind whichever roommate isn’t drinking that night just how glad she is that she stopped drinking. Who are you convincing here? I don’t care, but I’m done with the judgement.

The General Oozing of Self-Pity and Bad Vibes

But mostly, on top of everything, it’s the poor-me, holier-than thou, I hate everything, my life sucks, poor me, poor me attitude that brings down the house.
My roommate Clara has admitted to not enjoying being in the house - especially not downstairs when Rory is home because she just emits the yuckiest, draining vibes.

The best part, guess who already signed onto a lease with her for next year before the chines new year of the passive aggressive bitch began? Me!!

Spoiled Brat

At first my roommate was pretty cool, but things started to irritate me when her boyfriend would chill at the house ALL day when she was at school or work. He’d make his own food, watch tv, and come in and out as he pleased. And sometimes I rant on twitter when I get pissed(knowing she doesn’t have one) I ranted. All of a sudden she decides to creep on me and then blow up for being immature. We got over it, then months later she decides to take everything she brought for the kitchen, we aren’t allowed to use. But she will freely use all of mine and my other roommates stuff. Oh she also took all of our recyclables and pocketed it. Ughhhhh.

i’m not a bad person, but she makes me want to punch her in the face all the time

so i have this roommate. there are four of us in one room and i get along perfectly with the other two. except this one. and unfortunately she and i are on the same side. she sleeps early, like 10 o’clock every night and wakes up at like 6:45. that’s a full eight hours of sleep. and she naps all the time every day and somehow seems to find a way to complain that she didn’t get enough sleep the night before. so god forbid i should need the lights on on my side of the room after 10 pm because then she will proceed to have a hissy fit and you can hear her passive aggressive sighs when she’s trying to sleep. it’s not like i’m being rude about it, they’re on for less than two minutes because i need to change and i can’t change in the dark and most of the time she’s sleeping with the blankets over her head so she can’t even see the light but if it moves off even a bit and she somehow sees it through her closed eyelids and blanket she will get so angry and just mad dog me the entire time until i turn off the light. i overheard her talking to one of my roommates saying how she hates how annoying i am about the lights and wants to get a sleeping mask but doesn’t see the point in it because we’re already halfway through the semester. what’s ridiculous is that i have 7:30 am classes four days of the week and have had them for the past two semesters. this is her first time having one and the class is only twice a week and she complains every night about how she has to wake up sooo early for her class when my other two roommates are taking a 6 am class and sleep at 1 am and still find some way to be cheery and happy. and my goodness if it’s the weekend and me and my other roommates are talking quietly on their side of the room anywhere past the princess’ bed time she will storm into our bathroom so that we all know she is mad. we don’t try to anger her, we’re really nice and polite and try to invite her to places, she just refuses to be our friend or try to make some type of relationship with us in any way. there are days when she won’t talk to any of us for any reason at all. on clean check days the only time she talks to me is to tell me to clean up my stuff as i’m walking out to go to my early morning class. not to mention her mood swings. 90% of the time she is a raging bitch to everyone and the other 10% she will play nice. now my other roommates and i know her nice mode won’t last that long so we enjoy it while we can but then all of a sudden she’ll just flip out on us. my nice roommates are still holding on to the hope that she’ll be better and change and all that cute bs that i adore them for, but i know that it’s not going to happen. i’m not rude to her or anything, i just won’t initiate conversation with her for any reason at all. if she talks to me i’m polite but i won’t be an active participant. i’ve tried to be her friend. i’ve tried being nice, but i can’t handle it anymore. i’m fed up with her and her drama queen bull.

Klepto Roommate- and I’m not using that casually.

After studying abroad for three months, I came home to find our entire apartment refurnished with things from my room, my room itself completely ransacked with papers all over the floor, bed completely torn apart, mattresses switched, and clothing missing.  I assumed that she had a party or allowed someone to sleep in my bed, which would not have been a big deal if I didn’t have to clean puke off of my toilet seat.  After being angry about this, I realized that she wasn’t even at home.  She had been submitted to the psych ward, but for what I had no idea.  I assumed it was because of her awful, angry boyfriend dumping her and her losing it.  Well, after cleaning my room and reaching out to her and her family, I left for home for the summer.  I come back in September to find my room completely ransacked, valuables on the floor, more clothing missing, rinse and repeat.  I was with my dad who did the road trip half way across the country with me, and he was appalled- which is saying something for a guy with pretty low expectations and a relatively easy going demeanor. After cleaning up my room and my things yet again, I began to realize that something was not right.  Clothing that I had from my study abroad was gone… strange… Perhaps I left it at home? A month goes by…. sweaters I brought with me were gone… perhaps I put them somewhere or left them at a friend’s house? A week goes by… dirty spandex I left on my floor after working out in were gone; they were thrown on the ground near my laundry basket which is near the door… Another week goes by, and her friend comes to visit and tells me everything that she has been stealing from other people, including businesses in the area.  I was appalled but ready to forgive as long as she gave it all back.  

During this time, she went to Chicago and pulled one of the dumbest criminal moves of all time: she snap chatted me wearing my dress.  I called her out on it immediately, and she lied to me. She told me that I had let her borrow it, which I never did because I don’t really let anyone wear my clothes because they are NICE. I talked to her friend, then called the roommate out on it. She said that she was sorry that I was upset. (please note: she has never actually admitted to me that she was stealing my stuff. I had to call her mom who confirmed that the roommate was a kleptomaniac.) I tried to get out of my lease because I didn’t want to live with a thief, who I learned through all of this, has stolen previous roommates credit cards and thousands of dollars from various local stores. Unfortunately, I couldn’t figure out a way to break the lease without having to pay extraordinary amounts of money.  So, I decided to do roommate couples therapy.  During this session, we laid out ground rules and I gave her a week to give me back everything that she stole.  She gave me back one thing- a tory burch tote bag that my mom got me for my birthday a few years previously. We also installed locks on our doors after our meeting, and, in the spirit of fairness, I insisted that she have one on hers too, even though our laundry room is in her closet (I might take this moment to mention that we split everything in our apartment, even though she uses more energy and water than I do and also has a GIANT room compared to mine- it’s unfair.) At the time, I was okay with that because I thought that she just stole the cheap crap from forever 21 and other knockoff-type stores. Little did I know, the sum total of what she has stolen from me follows: 

green ralph Lauren purple label cashmere sweater, tortoise shell ralph Lauren purple label sunglasses, limited edition ray ban aviators, cream leather Marc Jacobs clutch bag, blue adidas workout spandex, designed black leather bag with gold studs, navy Zara pencil skirt (I don’t really care about that, but on principle I want it back), and a pink Celine umbrella. 

This is only what I have discovered so far- I am fairly positive that there is more… And this is NICE stuff, which I saved for with my own money since my philosophy is quality over quantity, always but the classics. 

Here are my issues: First, I want her to return all of the things she has stolen from me or their monetary equivalent, which equals well over 3000 dollars. Second, I am so angry at her for lying to me and believing that she pulled one over on me during the counselor meeting in which I was giving her a second chance and an opportunity to come clean plus forgiveness.  Like what a great deal for her! 

How do I make her give me everything back since she’s a liar and a thief?  She is the most inconsiderate and self righteous person I have ever met, and, yes, I do understand that kleptomania is a very real and hurtful disorder, but she is hurting me, too, which is unfair and rude. 

I also feel like I need to be accommodating her selfishness and walking around my apartment on eggshells for fear of pissing her off and her snapping and going into some psychosis.  She’s a kook! And, this is our senior year- so we only have 2 and a half months left. I’ve been so good about not snapping in anger, but I have reached my wits end. The original plan was to slap her (metaphorically speaking) with a very large bill the last week of school for all of the things that she owed me since I am moving out and taking everything with me- since my family was kind enough to lend us basically our entire living room set, kitchen supplies, etc. So, that last day of graduation when she comes back to an empty apartment and I drive off into the sunset will be immensely pleasurable for me since she is planning on staying through the summer- good luck bitch! ha….

Snarky comments and vengefulness aside, thank you for listening to my story and for helping me out!